The forties, a decade where clarity becomes a hot commodity.

You’ve probably been through a lot by now, from career changes to relationship struggles, and you’re now at a point where you want to find a new way of living a more fulfilling life. You want to find the inner peace, maybe your purpose, maybe you feel that something is missing and you’re not sure what and you want to discover it.

You feel the need to change, and you’re ready for it but where and how to start?
This full moon lunar eclipse on May 5th is happening in Scorpio which is the astrological sign the most associated with transformation. So it’s the perfect time for clarity and change, and it’s not a coincidence that I’m writing this article today.

But why clarity is so important?

Because it helps us make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and create a path toward our life goals. And it’s exactly what the 40s ask for. Without clarity, we might find ourselves lost, unsure of what to do next, and feeling unfulfilled. Clarity gives you a sense of direction, helping you make the most of your life.

So here are 5 steps to gain more clarity in life.

   Step 1: Take a Break

The best way to start gaining clarity is to step away from your daily routine and take a break.

If you can’t go on a vacation, at least take some time to do nothing at all, simply spend time with yourself. Journal and record your thoughts and feelings. Make the paper your best friend for a day or two. Tell it your deepest desires, dreams, needs, and wants. The best thing is that your journal won’t tell anyone.

I lately felt very confused about what I wanted from life and needed some clarity. So the first thing I’ve done was to switch off from reading, listening to podcasts, and watching YouTube tutorials because I couldn’t dissociate my needs and wants from what others were doing, anymore. And that was so unsettling. But after three whole days of just journaling I felt so refreshed, reconnected to myself, much more in peace, and ready to do what’s needed to gain clarity.

Therefore, I urge you to take the time off and reconnect with yourself. And if you think that you don’t have time to waste, let me remind you that time invested in self-care is the best investment you’ll ever do. Nothing is more important than you.
I promise that this break will help you gain a little bit more perspective and recharge your batteries. And that’s what we need for the upcoming steps.

Step 2: Identify Your Values

Values are principles and standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

Our ideas of what is important in life are mostly very vague. We might pick up some things that we think are important from our parents, or the culture we live in, but our authentic selves don’t necessarily resonate with them, and this makes us even more confused. So, if you didn’t clearly define your values until now, it’s time to do it. Because you can’t go through the second part of your life and take the best of it without identifying what you stand for. You can’t find your purpose, you can’t set and achieve goals, and you can’t make good decisions or feel good about yourself without having your values in place.

My core values are freedom, peace, authenticity, loyalty, and growth, and if things I want to do or want to become don’t match them I’m not even considering going in that direction. I already know that’s not for me.

See how having values is already halfway to gaining clarity?
So, your turn now. Write down what’s important to you and what you stand for. What are the things in life that are your non-negotiables?

I made a list of some of the values to make it easier for you to identify them:

– Achievement
– Ambition
– Authenticity
– Caring
– Charity
– Collaboration
– Creativity
– Empathy
– Ethics
– Excellence
– Fairness
– Family
– Friendship
– Freedom
– Fun
– Generosity
– Growth
– Happiness
– Health
– Honesty
– Humor
– Intelligence
– Joy
– Kindness
– Learning
– Love
– Loyalty
– Making a difference
– Motivation
– Open-mindedness
– Passion
– Perfection
– Personal development
– Power
– Quality
– Relationships
– Risk-taking
– Safety
– Security
– Service
– Spirituality
– Stability
– Success
– Thankfulness
– Tradition
– Wealth
– Well-being
– Wisdom

Once you’ve identified your values, you can use them as a guide to make decisions that align with your beliefs.

 Step 3: Define Your Goals

Now that you have your values in place, you’re ready to set goals. What do you want to achieve in life? Better health, better financial situation, better relationships? Do you have spiritual goals, career goals, or maybe leisure time goals? Or something else?
Write down your goals and be as specific as possible. Then check if they align with your core values. If not, then adjust them accordingly. What do I mean?

If my core value is freedom, but I want to increase my income, I won’t search for a job where I’ll be working for someone else, because I already know that I’ll be suffering from a lack of freedom. Instead, I’ll search for new opportunities in what I already do. Then if some of the values are contradicting themselves I’ll measure their importance and make the decision accordingly. For example, if I want to make more money but that requires a loss of my peace of mind, I won’t do it. Because peace of mind is at the very top of my importance list. Then I’ll search for another option or stick to my previous plan because that’s the best that I can do at the moment.

So when you align your goals and your values it will help you create more clarity, a more peaceful mind, and a more comprehensible roadmap toward your dreams.

   Step 4: Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Now that you have your goals set, you need to work on them every day. Focus, consistency, and discipline will help you in achieving them. But probably one of the most important things, that a lot of people forget, is that you have to check your surroundings. Because, you might have gained all the clarity about your values and goals, but if people you surround yourself with, don’t have the same opinion, are negative, or refuse to support you, you might start doubting yourself and lose clarity all over again.

Therefore, surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. This will help you stay motivated and keep your clarity.
You can even find an accountability partner to keep you on track with your clarity and goals. Or if you still need help you can reach out to [email protected] and I can help you with every step of the process.

   Step 5: Explore and Try New Things

Sometimes we lack clarity because we don’t know what we really want or what we’re passionate about.
To discover this you need to explore and experience. You can’t learn about yourself without taking some action.

I changed tonnes of jobs and interests over the years. From bartender to health and fitness coach, to singer, to sales manager to a real estate agent, to branding and marketing, until I found that helping people find their way and guiding them on that way was the calling I wanted to stick to.

I also changed tones of hobbies, from dancing to drawing to gardening to learning languages, nail modeling, and so on.
My interests were very different as well, I was into psychology and brain functioning, MBTI personality Indicator, perfumes and perfumery, the law of attraction, Reiki and work with energy, human behavior, charisma and seduction, spirituality and religions, ancient cultures, and much more than that.

When it comes to relationships, I’ve been married, had a few long-term relationships, dating much older and much younger guys. I’ve tried many dating apps including those to find a sugar daddy (out of mere curiosity ;). I also let myself explore my sexuality. How will I know what I like if I don’t try?

And all this helped me understand myself better. Who I was what were my strengths and weaknesses and why. What I enjoy and what makes me frustrated. And yet after all that, there are times when I get confused and lack clarity. Imagine a person who never does anything to gain different experiences.

I suggest you do the research on different jobs, try different hobbies, go to new places, stay open-minded to meeting new people, stay curious, read new books, buy a new course on Udemy.com, or get yourself on Fiverr.com as a freelancer to try to monetize your skills in your spare time. Spend more time alone. You might also take time to think about what made you really happy when you were a kid. And dare to get out of your comfort zone.

And even if you don’t find your passion right away, those experiences will make your life more interesting and on top of that you’ll never lack subjects to talk about on your next date. How cool is that!
No matter how serious this article was, don’t take yourself too seriously. Try to appreciate the process and lessons you’re learning, and remember, gaining clarity is a journey, not a destination, so enjoy the ride!