Well done my high-value lady. You’ve made it to the third date – the magical point in any relationship where things start to get real.
Therefore this needs to be celebrated. 🥂
If you followed my advice for the second date and you’ve done some fun things together, then for sure by now, you’ve likely established some chemistry and attraction with your potential partner, and you’re ready to take things to the next level.
But before you break out the wedding planner, there are some important dos and don’ts to keep in mind to ensure a successful third date.
On your first two dates, you had fun, however, now might be a time to get a little more real and check your compatibilities one step further. So, grab that glass, and get ready to learn the insider tips and tricks from a dating expert on how to make this third date a moment to remember, but also to learn from!”
Do: Show Affection
By the third date, you’ve likely established some level of physical attraction and chemistry with your partner. If you kissed on the second date, keep the momentum and warmly kiss him and hug him when he approaches you. Show him that you’re happy to see him. Why? Because people like people who like them. Therefore he’ll like you even more if you show him that.
But also, don’t shy away to show affection through simple gestures like holding hands or a gentle touch from time to time throughout the date.
Don’t: Be Too Intense or Needy
While it’s important to show interest and affection towards your partner, avoid being too intense or needy. This can be overwhelming and may scare your partner away. Men love affectionate women but don’t like women who lack emotional stability. So, show him that you’re warm but also, confident, independent, and emotionally mature, and give your partner space to breathe.
Do: Mention what you’re searching for
No, I don’t want you to scare him away, but this part is a must-do. And no, I don’t want you to tell him that you expect the ring on the next date and how many kids you want to have with him. I only want you to give him a little bit of insight into your vision of the future.
But how to say it clearly without scaring him away? Here is how.
Wait for the right moment to “spontaneously” mention your expectations.
For example, you talk about how your parents expect you to get married, but you, even if you would like to build a long-term relationship with someone, you don’t want to jump into anything serious without being sure that you met the right person for it.
Here you communicated what you want but you don’t put any pressure on him, because you still don’t know if he might be the one.
Now, again “spontaneously,” you ask him what is he searching for.
And hey, don’t be afraid to get the answer you wouldn’t like to hear. If he’s not looking for a long-term relationship, at least you won’t waste your time. Even if you like him a lot, you will have to move on searching for the right match. Remember, my high-value lady, we don’t have time to waste.
Do: Touch controversial topics and ask difficult questions
If you discovered that he’s only into short-term and fun, maybe this part would be unnecessary to bring to the table on the third date. But if you discover that he’s on the same page as you until now, time to check some further compatibilities.
The topics we’ll cover below might seem to be very serious, so please, but please, while asking those questions keep it fun and don’t make it look like a job interview.
You might ask him about:
- His priorities. It’s important to check how compatible you are when prioritizing things in life. If he prioritizes his job over everything else and thinks that all the rest is secondary, reassess if this is ideal for you or if are you ready to deal with that as it is, without thinking about how you will make him change his priorities once in a relationship because that’s less likely to happen.
- His core values. What he values in life will tell you a lot about him. If his core value is freedom, and yours is family, try to find out how it would work to match it together.
- His vision of the future. Where does he see himself in five years from now? It’s important for you to know whether he sees himself having a family or living on a desert island alone and happy. He doesn’t have a vision or plan?! This might be a red flag because a man without a plan is not ready to take you anywhere. So, understanding if he has a vision, what it is, and if your visions are compatible is crucial.
- What is his relationship with religion? This could turn out to be very revealing. Is he an extremist? Does his religion require specific things from a woman? Can you be that woman? Share your opinions on religion and spirituality and check if you could possibly find some balance.
And of course, keep it light and fun, and try to sneak these topics in-between more amusing moments.
Do: Be Respectful
If you ask him about some of those things I mentioned above, you’ll certainly find out things you won’t agree with. But showing your partner that you have a different opinion and at the same time you respect his, is a character trait of a keeper. I highly recommend listening to his opinions, being patient, and please make sure not to interrupt him while he’s sharing things you’ve asked for.
Also, if he chooses not to share everything and decides to keep something for himself, respect that by being polite, attentive, and considerate of his needs and boundaries.
Do: Buy condoms
He checked almost all the boxes, the night was fun, revealing, and exciting. The chemistry, connection, and compatibility are in check too, then why not check the last piece of the puzzle – sexual affinity?
If you go for it, my high-value lady, make sure you have condoms ready, so as not to find yourself in an uncomfortable situation of being super aroused but “protection-less.”
Keep in mind that you still don’t know this guy and that you still can’t trust him fully when it comes to sexually transmissible illnesses and as a high-value, you have to be able to take care of yourself.
I know it can be awkward to go to a shop and put that blue pack in your basket, been there 😓, but it’s more awkward to be dealing with some other sh*t afterward.
In conclusion about the third date, I suggest you show affection but don’t be too intense or needy. Mention what you’re searching for, touch on controversial topics, and ask difficult questions, but be respectful of your partner’s opinions and boundaries. By following these dos and don’ts you’ll make the best out of your third date. And if you don’t manage to fit them all in, don’t be hard on yourself, a big part of the dating process should be to have fun.
And if you want to learn more about how to attract and keep high-quality men check out my book The Art of Dating High-Quality Men down below
Good luck!
